Synesthesia
by Isn'tTrashLovely
Summary: He knew he was special. After all, he could see things that others could not. He knew this; he just didn't know how much trouble it would get him into in the future.
1. Red

**Red**

* * *

Although it was his name, he could never really understand the reason that all those who had met him would insist on calling him the colour.

* * *

 _That was a lie, of course. He knew all too well why they called him that name._

 _But that didn't matter._

 _He chose to ignore it._

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Red had only ever felt the burning emotion that he knew went hand in hand with the colour he was named after few times in his life. He had seen it enough times to know when one felt it, though. Cosmo had never really been one to keep his feelings to himself, no. He made sure everyone knew, especially Red.

* * *

 _But that was ok._

 _He chose to ignore it._

* * *

As time went on, Red became more aware of _why_ red was such an important colour when you lived in the circus. It was a warning, for one thing. If he ever saw the blinding red that signified Cosmos rage, he made sure he was out of sight.

* * *

 _Yet another misfortune he was blessed with at birth was, what he could only assume, a metaphorical sign above his head screaming "I am weak, you should beat me up!"_

 _Although it wasn't the best, he could manage._

 _He could ignore that too._

* * *

Maybe, god just hated him, and maybe, he was ok with it. Well, not really, but he had made it this far already, why give up now?

* * *

 _Surprisingly, it wouldn't be long until he would find that reason._

 _Sadly, though, as once told to him by one of the other helpers._

 _Life's a bitch_


	2. Mana

Red was confused. He had seen many amazing things in his life (yet another thing came with working at a circus), but this was certainly new. Just a bit away from his hiding spot was a clown. He was new and seemed to be a drifter, going from place to place to find jobs. With him was a golden, medium sized dog with a clowns ring around its neck. The appearance of the clown was, however, not what had amazed Red. What had caught his attention was the beautiful colour surrounding him. He had never seen anyone's colours shine half as brightly as the clowns. And so he stood there, too far gone in his trance to notice the pitter-patter of small paws coming up to him until he felt a warm wetness on his hand. Red jumped, startled look on his face, until it was quickly gone, hidden behind his mask of anger and indifference. The man still had not noticed his presence yet, to busy with what seemed like preparing his act. ' _Shame_ ,' thought Red ' _Cosmo ill take advantage of that quickly_ '. He was right, of course. Afterall, he had experienced it first hand too many times before. He was startled once more as he felt the wetness yet again, but on his other hand.

 _His left hand._

 _The dog had just **licked** his **left hand**._

Red's brain shut down. His breath hitched, and he quickly realised that he could barely breathe with the constricting tightness he could feel in his chest. He could feel his emotions flaring violently around him. He knew that if he could see himself now, he would be sure that he would see the colours around him blazing around him, la mirage of pure, raging emotion. He knew the reason for this of course. He had shoved them down so far into himself and under his mask that they were sure to be ecstatic at finally being out now, being able to show the beautiful colours their host showed, how amazing he was despite his looks. And he just stood there, barely concealing the shaking of his lithe form. His face was blank, and he was deathly pale. Despite the blankness of his face, his eyes were on fire, and they seemed to be having a hard time deciding which emotion he was feeling. His brain, now partially working, was pounding as it tried desperately to keep up and make sense of the mirage of thoughts in his head. Despite the fact that his brain was now functioning, it appeared that it was having a bit of trouble comprehending the thoughts and could only process it small fragments.

Red was shutting down. He should have known that, if anything, he shouldn't have tried an think. He had never had the best experiences, and so he knew that emotions and logic were not two things that went hand and hand. They were opposites, much like oil and water (at least, that's what he had heard one of the other performers say) For him, it was even worse for him. To Red, the better analogy for them had been that they were more like animals, fighting each other constantly to gain control. If there was one, the other could not exist at the same time.

He couldn't take it anymore.

 _It hurt._

He couldn't breathe.

 _Stop._

He needed to get out.

He ran.

* * *

Unlike himself, Mana never hid his emotions, and each time he made a reaction one could see the pure, unfiltered motions that the man felt. Red couldn't help it; he could feel his mask slipping more and more each day he stays in the clown's presence. As much as he tried to deny it, to both himself and Mana, he could feel himself become attached to the man, and frighteningly so. Ever since that winter day at Allen's grave, that had become closer and talked more often than not. Well, Mana tried to at least. At first, it was hard. Red was never the best conversationalist, and he didn't plan on becoming one anytime soon, and although the had shared that special moment at the dogs resting place, Red still wouldn't open up. For Red, when he had first left the grave, he had felt disgusted. Disgusted with himself for showing any emotion other than anger and hatred, and crying like a baby in front of a stranger. He wasn't like one of those winy little kids he would always see with their parents at the circus.

 _He wasn't like them, yes, but still. Even he deserved the right to cry sometimes. Right?_

* * *

Alas, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. For Re-Allen, this came in the form of the Millenium Earl. The death of Mana had been hard on Allen, and he couldn't remember the last time he had moved from the grave. Time seemed to fly by, and he wasn't even sure what the date was anymore. If it was only death, he could had dealt with it. Sadly, he realised all too late exactly what the clown had meant when he had warned about the supposed Earl.

* * *

 _He should have listened_

* * *

 **! So first, this is basically my first fanfic here, so I hope it's not too bad!**

 **ヽ** **(;ToT** **ヽ** **)**

 **Second, thanks for reading! (** **ㆁ** **ᴗ** **ㆁ✿** **)** **I made this chapter while in school instead of doing work, so I guess, whoops °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°**

( **I also can't seem to decide what colour Mana will be, so if anyone has segestions for either that or anyone else, or just what certain colours mean in general, plz tell me!)**

 **Don't forget torevieww!**


	3. AN!

**A/N**

 **Please go back to read the end of the other chapter! I decided that instead of making the mana chapter into 2-3 parts, ill make less. One, it gets me more words per chapter. Two, it's honestly just easier for me to keep track of. Thank youuuu!**


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